Day 10 is Monday. I am still running on adrenaline, with thoughts zooming in my head about what I need to do. We tell our bosses at work, because we know we will need a lot of time off in the coming week before the baby comes home. And I needed to start cross-training my co-worker on my duties at work. I was worried that it wouldn't be enough time before I left on parental leave.
So in cases like this, the baby can't come home with the adoptive parents until the Ministry approves the adoption. Since the baby was going to be born any day now, the plan was for her to go to a foster parent. Apparently this woman does this - foster parents newborn babies after birth until the adoptive parents have been approved. The birth mother, in addition to visiting us, also visited the foster parent's house to see where her baby would be staying for a short while.
Once the baby was placed with the foster parent, we would visit with them and be able to bond with our baby. We discussed privately that we would make every effort to be with the baby as much as the foster parent would allow (as obviously we would need to be respectful of her space and schedule).
I have a meeting where I announce that I am now training my co-worker on my duties. A person pipes up asking if there's a reason why this is being done now... I know he's hinting that maybe I'm pregnant. I just say I'm being assigned to other projects, and that it makes sense to have knowledge spread throughout my team.
I'm working, but I'm also Googling. I start firing off emails to daycares, asking them about wait times, schedules, fees. Wow. For a mother who gives birth to her child, she has 9 months of pregnancy to plan, and then maternity/parental leave of up to 54 weeks. Plenty of time to get on those dreaded daycare wait lists. By this time, their baby is a year old.
Adoptive parents of newborns often have very little time to plan pre-birth. And since we are not eligible for maternity leave, we only receive 37 weeks. Sadly, 37 weeks is not enough to get on daycare lists, where infant spots commonly take 1.5 years to get.
I get a bit stressed about daycare, because I'm going to end up having a 10 month old in a daycare that wouldn't be my first choice. And I keep refreshing my email and checking my phone waiting to hear about the birth.
By this point, I'm in FULL planning mode. I have a fantastic pediatrician lined up through a family connection, I've picked out items that I still need and register for them. I sign us up for newborn care classes, and baby
CPR.
I hate waiting.
I send an email to the birth parent counsellor, who is at the hospital with the birth mother, asking her to save as much as possible for the baby's life book. She emails to tell me they do that - they get an extra crib card, and gather one of the baby's hospital bracelets for the adoptive parents to keep.
I wish I could be there, but I understand why I can not be.
We wait, and wait some more. Our social worker books us for a call in the evening. I decide to stay late at work to continue planning while my husband goes home to feed and walk the dog. We call her, expecting the best...
